Funny How Things Work Out.....It's Fucking Hilarious.

11:47am: Bears.
My 21st birthday on July 20th came and went. I was going to update this thing, but our computer died and, well, it's hard to update wihtout a computer. Things have been going..........really well. There's this one girl and her name is Stephanie. She makes me smile. A lot. And she's beautiful. And she's my girlfriend. It's been a while since I could say something like that. The summer came and went at a rapid pace. I guess that's life. The Bears training camp is open and I am so down for getting some autograph's. I really don't have much to say so I'm just gonna stop while I'm ahead.

12:08am: I stopped caring about this thing a long time ago. I just want to say a few things, however, before I abandon it once more: the summer is going by way to fast, I need to stop getting my hopes up, and I need to really REALLY start saving my money. That is all. Here's to another blown summer!

9:19pm: I don't think anyone really reads this anymore.....
So, I got into a discussion with my Mom about this whole immigration BS that has been going on lately. Anyone who knows me knows damn well that I am very anti-racist, anti-homophobic, and against discrimination in all forms. It's a waste of time in my opinion. Like they said in American History X: "Life is too short to be pissed off all the time." I agree with that. However, this whole immigration topic has really struck a nerve with me. Everyone in America has some sort of connection to immigration; we all have ties to foreign countries in some shape or form. I am made up of mostly German ancestry with a little Hungarian and a tad bit of Irish. My ancestors came through Ellis Island, New York an earned their citizenship just like millions of other Americans have. What bothers me is the fact that millions of illegal citizens are living off of American benefits ILLEGALY. I tend to bring it up a lot, but my father fought in the Vietnam War. One of my best friends, Daniel, is currently in Iraq. They have shed blood, sweat, and God knows what else for this country. To have ILLEGAL citizens take advantage of that really bothers me. I am NOT trying to sound racist at all. Simply put, I just feel that if you want to live in America, go through the legal steps of becoming a US citizen. If I saw a nice house in California, I wouldnt just invite myself in and make it my own home. I would have to earn it. I understand that living conditions in other parts of the world aren't favorable; I realize that America wants to take on the hungry and poor; however, I feel America has to take care of it's legal Americans first before it takes care of those who shouldn't even be here. I mean would Mexico, France, Germany, or Italy be cool with a bunch of Americans going over to their land and living on it illegally? I doubt it. They would probably kill them. Finals are next week and I really let myself down this semster. Whatever. I need this summer.

5:57pm: And we do it like this.....
April has showed signs of being both one of the best months I have had in a long time. Good things include getting a new job (fuck you Blockbuster), getting my tax returns (even if it was a long wait), getting a cap for my truck, warm weather (the best part), baseball starting (the 2nd best part), school ending in less than 2 weeks, a new Yankees hat that I really didn't need but bought anyways, Chimaira on April 24th, and a few other things that I really can't think of right now. I am eagerly anticipating the summer. Things on tap for this summer inlcude but aren't limited to: my 21st fucking birthday, getting dual exhaust for my truck, getting a new amp, working at Lowe's (again, fuck you Blockbuster), going to Sounds Of The Underground, Warped Tour, and Ozzfest, going to Cubs games, watching the Yankees, Bears summer camp, going to the Dune's, working out, getting a fucking tan, getting a six pack (maybe), etc. The list could go on forever. It's not even summer yet, but I can feel it. This is the time of the year that I cherish most. I would give anything to have this last forever because, in all honesty, I feel as though I am dreading growing up and taking responsibility for everything. It is in the summer where I can feel that irresponsible feeling again without worrying about any consequences. I cannot wait.

2:40am: Tonight contained the most unexpected event. Ever. After going to Upper Crust Pizza to see Edwards Eruption and Kumite play, Steve, Brian, Mike, and I decided to go to White Castle. While in line, some overly abnoxious drunk man came in behind us. He started tapping me on my shoulder and grabbed my hat telling me to "move the fucking line up." After he did this about 6 or 7 times I turned around and said "Would you fucking stop?" And then you know what he did? The middle aged, drunk man decided to forcefully place both hands around my neck for a solid 5-10 seconds. He then said "I could fucking beat your ass right now." All of those days in Criminology class came rushing back into my head when I realized: this is both assault and battery. Pussy or not, I called the cops. By no means is it ok for a drunk man twice my age to wrap his hands around my neck. While I was calling the cops, his over aged, drunk friend threatened to beat me up and told me to "meet him outside." He also repeatedly called me a "punk kid" and a "pussy". So, yes, tonight was quite interesting. I can honestly say that this was the last thing I expected to happen. Ever. Am I pussy? Decide for yourself. That's what the law is there for. If it was someone my age I would have let it slip, but a guy twice my age has no right whatsoever to place his drunk hands around my neck. Imagine what it would be like if I was 17 and not 20. That guy would be in a deeper hole of shit.

10:55pm: Insert title here.
Bands like Between The Buried And Me and Every Time I Die make me want to become a better musician. I went to the House Of Blues tonight to see these two aformentioned bands. Haste The Day and Bleeding Through also played, though, I'm not really into them. At all. It was a bit expensive (26 bucks) and you couldn't move around. However, it was still a fun time. Melissa, Dietz, and Ronnie made it worthwile. The semester is in it's 7th week. Spring break is in a few days I do believe. March 3rd through March 10th. I don't know what I'm doing (other than fixing my truck), but I sure can use the break. It's been a month since I updated this thing. I really don't have much to say because nothing much has changed. I'm attempting to get into shape and it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. However, that won't steer me away from continuing. I NEED to get into better shape. School is school and work is work. Nothing that great, but nothing that I can complain about. I'm looking forward to baseball. A lot. I already miss the fuck out of the NFL and it hasn't even been a month since the Super Bowl. The cold weather shold be ending soon. I hope. I still haven't figured out what's going on between Mallory and I, but I didn't expect to have it figured out by now. You know what? That's fine with me. She isn't leaving me anytime soon. I don't really have much else to say. So I'm just going to end there. I smell like the fucking House of Blues. Not good.

4:31pm: I'm just sitting in my car waiting for my girl.
The new year and new semester have been pleasant so far. I actually have nothing to complain about which is a first. I haven't bought any of my books for my new classes and I'm actually surviving so far. That saves me about 400 bucks. Which is good FYI. I got into a car accident on the way to Marcus Theater last week. Long story short: I collided with someone while I was merging. There is damage to my driver's side fender, my front bumper is cracked, and my driver's side door has a long gash on it. It's nothing that would prevent me from driving, but it's enough damage to cost me about 600 bucks + in repairs. As a result, my insurance is probably gonna go up, but I can't dwell on it. Shit happens. You gotta move on. Super Bowl XL is approaching and the Bears aren't in it due to their playoff loss to the Panthers which I am STILL not over. I sometimes think that I place too much emphasis on sports, but I guess that's what happens when you want to be a sports journalist. Someday. My hair is finally long again. I have spent way to much money on hats, clothes, and food lately. I start the fitness center at JJC soon which is good because I need to get into shape realllllllyyyyy bad. I also want to get a tattoo. Someday. It's funny how, to help your present state and your future, you sometimes look into the past for your answers. I've been hanging out with Mallory a lot lately and she has slowly been reminding me every time we hang out exactly what I have been missing. Does that mean something? I don't know. I guess that's a whole different story. We crossed paths again for a reason, this I know for sure. Maybe it will be different? I guess only time will tell. Whatever it is, I am actually looking forward to it, a feeling I haven't felt in a while. This time, I'm not going to let it fall to pieces like I did before. That's a garuntee.

1:00am: Growing old.
Christmas treated me well. Though it was over a week ago, I guess I could list the stuff I got:

Ralph Lauren Polo Black Cologne
Curve Cologne
Kicking and Screaming
Family Guy Volume 3
Mallrats 10th Anniversary Edition
Back To The Future 3 Pack DVD Set
Gun
Blitz: The League
Madden '06
NBA 2K6
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Special Gold Edition
Meshuggah's "Nothing" CD
Kanye West's new CD
Poison's "Look What The Cat Dragged In" CD (this was given to me by a friend. Ha!)
A brown, New York Yankees fitted hat
Motley Crue: Carnival Of Sins DVD
a 15 dollar gift card to LIDS
and about 220 dollars

Granted, these are combined gifts. I received these gifts from not only my Mom and Dad, but my Aunts, Uncles, Sister, Friends, etc. Christmas treated me well, though. New Year's Eve was also a splendid time. Unlike the previous 2 years, I did not go to Kala's. Instead, I went to Marc's house with Mallory, Adam, Brian, Ted, Tim, and Dietz. Various other people were there. Some I liked, some I didn't like. But that's life. I still had a good time bringing in the new year. It was a fun, drunk time. The Bears finished 11-5 and are Division Champions. Seriously, fuck the Packers. My new year's resolution is simple: get in shape and start saving my fucking money. Mark my words: both will happen.

11:02pm: Kyle Orton shouldn't shave.
I don't think I have ever made an entry about the shit I take at work. I'm going to start on that now. I was checking some guy out and a 2.50 restocking fee comes up on his account. I go "You got a 2.50 restocking fee on the account. You wanna take care of that now?" His response: "What? I'm in here all the time. I ain't never been late. You guys ain't got no late fees. Go ask the boss to void it off; she knows me." My response "Your account has been inactive since August. I can't void it off." His response "No. You aint got no late fees. I'll pay for these movies, but not that fee." My response "You can't rent until you pay." His reponses "I'll pay for this now because I don't want to argue this late at night." Then he left. I seriously had to bite my tongue so hard. I'm not in the fucking mood anymore. Fuck you. It's christmas. Don't bitch at me cuz you're wlefare checks can't cover a $2.50 fee. Fuck yourself. What was even more funny was that there was a warning on his account saying "Customer knows about restocking fee policy. DO NOT GIVE ANYMORE CREDITS!!!!!!" Furthermore, he had been "late" almost the entire time. He had countless auto-sales. So, fuck you customer. Another problem I have is ignorant immigrants coming from a country we probably bombed that cannot speak english for shit. Some bitch comes in and goes "40 year old virgin?" and I go "Uhhh, you want to rent it?" And she goes "Yeah, 40 year old virgin?" I pointed to the outside wall and I go "Yeah, it's on the new release wall." Mind you, I could have said at the beginning of the new release wall. But I had a fucking customer at the register and I couldnt do both at the same time. She comes back to my boss and goes "I cant find it. Are you out?" My boss shows her where it's at and I overhear the lady go "He should have told me in the beginning." Sensing something was up, I tried to avoid the lady and attempted to go take a leak. However, the line was long so I couldnt. Finally, the cunt comes up and goes "I dont want you ringing up. You were no help. I have baby. I dont know where movie is at." I go "Mam, the entire outside wall is new releases. Numbers come before letters. Sorry." She goes "I don't carem, your no help" My boss had to ring her up because the ignorant english butchering bitch didn't want me doing it. She sounded like she may have been Russian or Polish, but I couldn't tell. What happened to the english language? If you come into this country, learn to fucking speak English you fucking cunt. Speak english or die. Also, fuck old people and there VHS tapes and how they want everything for free. Fuck people who always go "can you check this in, I have a late fee." Fuck people who go "You don't have (insert popular title in here) to rent?" when it's a fucking Friday or Saturday night. Fuck people who go "You don't have anymore late fees, right?" when there are no more late fee signs around the entire store. Fuck people who argue over a $1.25. And fuck Blockbuster. They shit on there employees and ar efucking Nazi's for being open on Christmas. We all deserve better. My grandpa would roll over in his grave if he found out I was working on Christmas Eve and Day. The Bears are 10-4 and Kyle Orton was benched. It's a sad day for me. Edward hasn't shaved in close to a month, hence, a beard is finally starting to form. I love it. I can't stress enough that I'm glad the semester is over. I've got a "Things to do" list hanging up in my room, but I'll talk about that some other time. I'm too tired right now.


p.s Christmas isn't nearly as special to me as it was when I was a kid. Now it's filled with stress and no money. How ironic.

10:35pm: One year later.
"Dimebag" Darrell was murdered a year ago today. I'm still not over it. Thanksgiving came and went and now christmas break is in the picture. Fuck snow. Thank God this semester is over. Da Bears.

10:12pm: Lame? Fuck you.
I went to a show with Tim and, for some reason or another, I got really pissed off when I was there. It might have something to do with the chain of events that have taken place over the last couple of days, but I'm not entirely sure. Sam's house was the shit, though. Thanksgiving break is soon which means Christmas break is that much closer. I really need this semester to end. I also need to talk about life with Kristie more than once every 3 weeks.

11:03pm: Oh man.
Going over my old livejournal posts (some from January, 2004)I realized that, at some point, I was actually happy. What the hell happened? Recently, Kristie Kahr gave me a garuntee that, in the end, everything will be okay. That's probably the only thing that is keeping me alive right now other than my best friends that are 155 + miles away. And the Edwards' bros that I never fucking see anymore. And Daniel Bond. It's times like these where I feel really insecure, weak, paranoid, and vulnerable. And the only thing I can do is move on. Dammit anyways.

8:32pm: U of I and more unmotivation.
So, this past Halloween weekend, I went to U of I with Marc to visit Dave Louridas and his roommates. Kristie, Adam, and Tim showed up and chaos ensued. Seriously. This was probably one of the best weekends of my entire life. Tim, Marc, and myself all dressed up as members of Lord Viper, our 80's glam/metal/hardcore band. Kristie dressed up as our hot groupie and Adam dressed up as our manager. We looked amazing. Think Motley Crue and you aren't too far off. I would upload pcitures, but apparently you have to pay to do that? Eff that. Go to http://www.myspace.com/edverd and look at the pics there. So, yeah, the trip was an amazing success. I successfully downed 3 beer bongs and numerous individual cans of beer. Not to brag or anything. I was just really drunk. haha! I woke up to a terrible hangover, some Bears football, and some nice french toast. I loved it. I don't know where I would be without friends. they are the only thing I have going for me right now in life. It's times like this that I regret fucking up in high school and not going away to college. Which leads me to my next rant: school. Fuck school. I can't stand it. It's not just JJC; it's school in general. I don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life other than see my friends 24/7. I can't stand requirments, responsibility, and, a very important part, I can't afford it. I have little to no money and it's not like Blockbuster (my job) pays major money to begin with. Adam and I have expressed strong desires in wanting to move away. California sounds really nice. But there's a few problems: one is obviously money. The other is the school factor. But, also, as you may or may not know, I just bought a new truck in July. I am obligated to make payments on it until 2009. I cannot wait that long to get away. And I can't sell it because I need a car and my parents would fucking kill me because they gave me 2.000 dollars for a down payment. Decisions? I don't know. I guess the best thing I can do is wait these next few semesters out, get some credits under my belt, try to figure out some sort of direction in my life with school and all, and hope for the best. I am not a bad person. I just don't have any fucking motivation. I want to grow up, but I don't want to accept responsiblity. Does that make sense? God dammit.

7:04pm: Da Bears.
I went to the Bears game this past weekend with my family and Sir Dietz. It was very cold and the non-stop rain felt like ice cubes falling from the sky. However, it was still very fun. They won 10-6. I got to act like a ruthless, obnoxious asshole. I always like it when I get that chance. My English paper won't write itself, but I realized I'm not writing it either. Shit.

10:28pm: Chimaira.
Steve, Brian, and myself saw Chimaira Monday night at the Pearl Room in Mokena. It cost 10 dollars to see my second all time favorite band. However, I blew 55 dollars on a shirt and a hoodie. Oh well. The show rocked, my head hurts from headbanging (seriously), and I have been getting real sick lately. I think me not eating meat and not supplementing myself the right way for well over a year is starting to catch up with me, thus, causing this sickness. I just might have to eat meat again. Maybe.

10:53pm: Whoa.
Steve and I saw the Foo Fighters for free Monday night. They were 50 dollar tickets. Getting lost in the city sucks.

5:56pm: Who really cares anyways, right Edward?
My name is Edward. I am unmotivated and very worried about my future. My days normally consist of school, work, blowing off homework, sleeping, playing my guitar, PS2, being nostalgic and missing the past, or watching ESPN. That is all. Questions? Comments? Concerns?

11:48pm: 155 miles south on I-57.
The Eastern trip this past weekend was a terrific success. Not only was the apartment sweet, but getting drunk, admitting to my friends I love them, and supposedly being overly protective of Kristie Kahr was also quite awesome. The Bears losing 9-7 to the lowly Redskins was not. Whatev. I am sure more Eastern trips will occur in the future now that I have a compatible automobile that can handle speeds in excess of 90 MPH +. Yes indeed. Taco Bell always makes me sick, yet, I eat it anyways. Weird.

3:03pm: Whoa.
I was aked to leave my creative writing class today because I forgot to read the assigned readings. Whoops.

9:39pm: I am no longer in Zombie Holocaust.
I really wish I could go back in time. I would give anything to see her again. Just one time would be enough. Maybe things would be different. Maybe?

4:50pm: Thank you.
I personally want to thank George W. Bush for the $3.51 gas prices. It goes to show you that even after owning Iraq for 2 years we really aren't patriotic enough until we shell out almost 4 bucks per gallon. Hey, how about that Alaskan oil reserve with over 700 million gallons?!

10:18pm: Cuz I still feel the same.
I don't like school anymore.....not just JJC, but school as a whole. I wanna join a trade and make 30 bucks an hour. Now. I bought a bottle of Procerin off E-Bay for 20 bucks. It's supposed to stop my receding hairline. Hopeuflly.

6:52pm: Annoyance.
I'm pretty certain that the most annoying thing to me is when people constantly pick at me when they know I'm in a bad mood. I've been in a rather shitty mood lately and I'm not sorry to anyone who may have been subjected to it. Things are gonna change in the next few weeks/months. I can garuntee that.

10:05pm: School starts and, thus, the summer ends. I don't know where the fuck it went because, in my humble opinion, It went by way too fucking fast. I don't even really know what, if anything, I accomplished this summer. My schedule sucks for this semester and I get the feeling it's going to be a long one. I can't believe I would ever miss high school but, at this moment, I do. This has truly left me in a deep hole of calamity. Daniel is going to Iraq for 7 months. Please pray for him.

10:47pm: Fire It Up.
So, I have been listening to the new Black Label Society CD "Mafia" a lot lately, almost every day. I have particularly been listening to the song "Fire It Up." It's basically just a straight up, southern metal song. My cup of tea, basically. And, of course, the man himself (Zakk fucking Wylde) employs heavily drop tuned guitar work on this song and the entire album, my cup of tea yet again. Ever since I began playing guitar in March of 1999 I was fascinated by the art of soloing, specifically "Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix and Metallica's/Kirk Hammet's solo in "Enter Sandman." I still love both of these solos (yes, even Hammet's). However, around this time I was also intrigued by the art that is "down tuning." This all started with my pathetic taste in Coal Chamber. They tuned down to B E A D G B. Those who play guitar are the only one's who will probably understand this. Coal Chamber was/is a shit band and I can't help but laugh when I think of them and how I used to like them. However, his dropped tuninig got me going. I realized that other bands, particularly my heroes, were employing heavily dropped tuned guitars: Dimebag (Pantera) used D G C F A D and occasionaly C# F# B E G# C#. Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath) also favored this tuning as did countless blues musicians such as Albert King and B.B King. Zakk Wylde often used standard E A D G B E tuning but, as his albums increased, his tuning decreased to B A D G B E, C G C F A D, A A D G B E, or even G A D G B E. He would also favor dropped D tuning down a half step: Db Ab Db Gb Bb Eb. My idols in Chimaira and System Of A Down employ dropped D tuning down a full step: C G C F A D. Andreas Kisser from Sepultura also favored tuning down a full step: D G C F A D. Frankly, I got hooked on all this shit because I realized that MY HEROES weren't afraid to shred in a lower tuning because It was fucking heavy, but at the same time it was filled with shreds up the ass and no compromises. I guess you would only understand this update if you were A. a musician/guitarist or B. if you were in my band, Zombie Holocaust. Currently I have been favoring a standard dropped D on my Scott Ian Jackson guitar (D A D G B E) and dropped D down a full step on my Dimebag guitar (C G C F A D). I guess this update doesn't really make any sense. Most of you probably don't understand what I'm talking about (how many times have I said that?). But, frankly, I enjoy playing in a tuning lower than standard 440 E and I damn well don't care what others think. Try and stop me.


p.s. My cousin's wedding on July 29th rocked. Brittany looked beautiful. Mmmmmmmmm Hhhhhmmmmmmm. If only I had rhythymic structure.